Letter #1: January 25, 2018
Dear Lainey,
I’ve started to write this letter so many times, and I don’t know if I’ll even get the nerve to send this to you. I want to, for the record. I know me leaving when I did wasn’t the best, especially since our ceremony was going to be next month, but I couldn’t go through with it knowing that I wasn’t fully happy with who I was. I haven’t been good to you, we both know this, and I couldn’t just force you to get into a life with me when there was a good chance I was never going to change.
I went home to Barcelona. My mother immediately hit me when she learned of what I did, and she wanted me to let you know that she’s very disappointed in me, and she’s ashamed to have me as her son. She actually watched me write this part, and she’s making me promise that I’m keeping it in. I will. But she’s right, of course she is. Just being here a few days has taught me just how ashamed I am about everything. You were trying to show a part of yourself to me that you thought I’d understand, and I just...ran from it. Just as I tried to run from the damn cloak even though it still follows me everywhere.
It hits me regularly on the head too, by the way. I think it misses you.
Truth is, I miss you. But I need to be a better man before we meet again. I hope we do.
You won’t ever see this letter. But I have to write. Or try. Somehow, it feels like righting a wrong.
Sincerely,
Silas
Dear Lainey,
I’ve started to write this letter so many times, and I don’t know if I’ll even get the nerve to send this to you. I want to, for the record. I know me leaving when I did wasn’t the best, especially since our ceremony was going to be next month, but I couldn’t go through with it knowing that I wasn’t fully happy with who I was. I haven’t been good to you, we both know this, and I couldn’t just force you to get into a life with me when there was a good chance I was never going to change.
I went home to Barcelona. My mother immediately hit me when she learned of what I did, and she wanted me to let you know that she’s very disappointed in me, and she’s ashamed to have me as her son. She actually watched me write this part, and she’s making me promise that I’m keeping it in. I will. But she’s right, of course she is. Just being here a few days has taught me just how ashamed I am about everything. You were trying to show a part of yourself to me that you thought I’d understand, and I just...ran from it. Just as I tried to run from the damn cloak even though it still follows me everywhere.
It hits me regularly on the head too, by the way. I think it misses you.
Truth is, I miss you. But I need to be a better man before we meet again. I hope we do.
You won’t ever see this letter. But I have to write. Or try. Somehow, it feels like righting a wrong.
Sincerely,
Silas